Count Down, Full term

My family is away at the moment, the house is quiet, I feel kind of lonely and relieved at the same time.  I'm not sure how that works.  I honestly don't remember the last time I had a weekend that was all mine, where I could do anything I wanted, whenever I wanted, all by myself.  Unfortunately, I have to do all those amazing things at the peak of my pregnancy.

Today marks the 37th week of my third pregnancy, which means I am now full term.  This baby weighs over 7 pounds and needs to get out here and play with me!  But until then I'm trying to bide my time and tie up the last of my lose ends.  You know those little things you dread, like having the house totally clean and organized, hospital bag packs, car seat clean and ready, all your craft/sewing projects completed... etc.  I still have a ton I can do and I keep trying to tell myself to focus on doing it all so that  the time goes by faster.
 I am not so angry and frustrated anymore.  I just needed to rant and my blog was a great place to do it, mostly because it's out in the universe but hardly anyone pays attention to it so...   Doctor's appointments are so tuff for me.  It should be good, because it marks another week gone but it really just annoys me.  I should be going in on Monday for my 37th week checkup and I just REFUSE to go.  So I'm skipping it and am not going in until 38 weeks.  I really can't bare the idea of having her tell me I'm not progressing and to come back in week.  Let's just save both of us the waste of time and I'll come in when there might be something to actually see.

Last night, I got on a huge cleaning kick and spent two hours deep cleaning my bedroom.  This is good, I had FIVE laundry baskets full of our clothes that had been taking up space on the floor for, well, over a month.  I'm the worst with laundry and dishes, I avoid them like the plague.  Anyway, I guess I worked a little hard because I was having some slight pains in my right side.  I mean slight, hardly anything.  As I lay there I couldn't get rid of that annoying little cricket voice in my head telling me that I was going into labor three weeks early and being so excited.  It took two stupid hours of laying there, trying to get my heart to stop racing, to convince myself it was nothing.  AND it was nothing because it's 24 hours later and I'm still VERY pregnant.  I would be ecstatic beyond belief if I had this baby three weeks before my due date and although I would like to have it right now this very second, I think it would be good to wait until my husband and sweet little children are back from the big city and can be there for it.  How sad would it be for Korry to miss the birth of his little guy.  I told him that it would be very sad but that my dad was never in there for any of my mother's five pregnancies.  ''Dad doesn't do well with blood.''  Luckily, I would suspect my mom was fine.  She's had FIVE cornea transplants, child birth must be cake compared to invasive eye surgeries.

Well three weeks left for sure.  The doctor said she'll induce me in two.  I'm trying to look at it as three that way I'm not going so nuts when two gets here.  The next week will go by fast.  Kennadee has her first day of Kindergarten on Tuesday and I am going to sign her up to do a cheer camp all week after school.  That should keep both of us going.  Korry also starts a new job on Monday.  He's just amazing.  He's going to work a grave shift from 11 pm to 7 pm two to three nights a week.  Then he'll have to be a PT school at 8 am.  I keep trying to tell myself that even though these times are hard, they'll be the ones we look back on when we're old as the most important and significant.  I also tell myself that I can't get this time back no matter what I do.  I am so excited for a new little guy to be in our family but then sometimes I look at my two little loves and think how sad it is that we'll never be the same little group of four anymore.  The nights of Eli climbing into bed next to me won't be the same because more than likely there will already be another little boy there.  It won't just be Eli and I watching popeye before naptime because there will be someone else there.  And now Neddy will be in school everyday too.  My world is all changing.  It's all different.  I can't take time back and relive those moments but I can hold tight to each one as it passes.  So, for the next two weeks I will squeeze my Eli guy a little tighter when he climbs into bed with me and laugh a little louder when we watch popeye.  I will read longer to Neddy and admire her freckles longer than usual.  My children are growing up, we're getting older, and everyday is a new beginning and a new end.  Life is wonderful.  I am so blessed.  What more could anyone ask for than what I have everyday?